Shades of grey.

quote via creampuff.

Nothing is harder than it seems.

syrinx:

Syrinx was one of those versatile virgins of Arcadia, who, on being pursued by Pan beside the river Ladon, turned herself into a reed, from which Pan made his pipes, so giving her name to various tubular structures, eg syriges, and syrinxes, which are tubular or slit-like cavities in or close to the central canal of the cervical cord. They may extend up or down.

-Oxford Handbook of Clinical Medicine (My Best Friend)

what does it take to find a lost love?

Today my friend turned 90 years old. The hospital staff sang him a birthday song when we were having tutorial. He told me he wanted to hit 100 years old, said that with a grin and hope in his voice. He is a cute old man, tells me about his education, his job, his mee goreng. He says he likes to cook his own food, that he puts 6 onions, 60 cents toufu and a little yellow mee and he cooks it by himself. That the kind they sell outside isn't nice, "they give so little towgay".

Today I said goodbye && take care to another friend who went home. He defaulted treatment for his thyroid problem for many years, because he didn't have the money to pay for medication. He said he didn't know what to do when he goes home, "Singapore is a very hard place ah. People are very unfriendly, and they are selfish." And then he told me firmly: "Don't press people down because when you go, no one will come and send you off".
Don't press people down.

Today I said a cheery good morning to this man who wanders the hallways every morning. The hallways in AH are a breezy, open place to be and today he was looking out one of the colonial style windows, gazing at the tress outside.
He has lung cancer.
I try to greet him happily every morning because sometimes that's the best we can do, to be cheerful for them.

This week has been busy but fulfilling.

appearances deceive.

2 minutes into the conversation, his eyes filled with tears.
"Wo huo zai shi jie shang hen tong ku, mei you ban fa le."

Later my friend asked, "why did you talk to him?".
"Sometimes the best thing we can do is to listen."

cherry cherry bon bon.

#1
"So what do I do?"
"Just distance yourself."
"I've tried that already."
"Was it obvious?"
"Yes, it was."

#2
"She was just being friendly (pause) and I really didn't know what was going on."
"You have denial issues."
"But she was just being friendly!"

#3
"Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you, over again..."
"Don't make me change my mind"
"I won't waste another day, I swear its true"
"Because a girl like you is impossible to find."
"You're impossible to find."

#4
"Cherry cherry bon bon!"
"?!!"

#5
"Wait I knew that."

#6
"I'm Yours makes me squirm in my skin."
(turns up volume)

#7
"I'm alert as an alligator."

#8
"Chocolate cake vs Transformers?"
"Chocolate cake."
"?!?!?"

i'm giving you a break from me

Posting is set to resume soon, and among other things I think I have the propensity to say the stupidest things.

/hides face.

Alexandra Hospital is where I'm at now, and they have weird card inserts on their tables; things like TLC and spoonfuls of sugar that are supposed to make you eat healthier. Watch out because by the end of this 9 weeks, I'll have no more fat. I'll be like chicken breast meat, a lean and strong machine.

Today we camped around our kind and funny tutor in Ward 2, and learnt things that we should have been taught earlier. Funny how teaching sometimes goes backwards.

Today we got advice from 2 old men, on marriage (don't marry young, enjoy life first) and taking care of kids (the wife is the good guy, the husband has to be the bad guy). I guess, it's always good to start planning (??).

My dire affliction, I'll attribute to you

It's clear you're nothing special, you're just a skeleton key.
Today, I have rediscovered the joys of songs that don't mean much and just sound nice. A bit like people sometimes, too.

The past week (if you must):
1. Fluffy hair.
2. Soyabean milk.
3. Waffles.
4. 18 chefs, KFC. Prospectively: laksa and sushi.
5. Feeling inadequate, incompetent and slack; basically PP (phytoplankton) like.
6. Suddenly having energy to go run today in CGH's gym.
7. Having people exclaim HUH YOU'RE GOING RUNNING to the above point.
8. Why is it that it is not possible to be a contradiction?
9. Currently playing err, Restaurant City. HAHAHA.
10. And worrying about dresscode and cui-ness to Gareth Pugh.
11. Walking out into wrong places, and encountering stunned nurses.
12. Having to research about sunbears and bile.
13. Seeing really really cute old people (:
14. Learning bits of hokkien, like some lo kun thing.
15. Being tempted to replace thing with some other word that I hear frequently from Sonia & my tutor. No, it doesn't start with F and yes it starts with S.
16. Tomorrow is the weekend, I thought we never live to see it, but I exaggerate.
17. Nail polish is destructible, even the clear ones. Yes, you can call me superficial now, go on.
18. I wish to lose weight so I can walk faster. My legs are the same length as Keith's but I can't walk as fast, it must be the weight.
19. I really like the lyrics of this song! SKELETON KEY LA, THEN.
20. My weekends are really busy.

What I Am Doing:

1. Studying.
2. Running at least twice a week. Oddly enough I can run for a longer distance in the gym then in the 'real world' if you get what I mean. Sadly enough, there is no gym nearby.
3. Snacking between meals. Potato chips! Chocolate! Yoghurt! Repeat!
4. Playing FB games. HEHEHE.
5. Watching TV shows + one brokeback mountain (which is possibly the saddest romantic movie ever.)
6. Dazed Digital Playlists are very good to study to, esp. the Feb one.
7. Looking at awesome stud DIYs online, and wanting to try, and knowing that I'll probably poke holes in my fingers.
8. Tracking my items from everywhere. And tracking my brother's Rhino plush toy thingy. It's very cute.
9. Reading Huffington Post.
10. Scrambling around in distress because Paul just sent an email to say that a review of the exam questions is underway. NEUROSCIENCE HOW.

when did your heart go missing?

1. I think that Jen & John looked very naiice together at the Oscars. And that Ange looked gaunt in her all black ensemble.
2. I literally jumped for joy when Slumdog won many many.
3. And hence I conclude that the past few days have been a monumental waste of time trying to cram COFM.
4. I think when things change, you change and now I don't know you anymore.
5. I'm so sick of being stifled by the very things I chose to love and study.
6. When did your heart go missing?
7. How come slashed jeans and spikes and studs and gleaming metal things are appearing everywhere?
8. And at NYFW too. See Nathan Jensen. Amg.
9. While bloghopping I saw this super cute violinist and hyperventilated on my couch.
10. Seriously, too too cute. Way too cute.
11. Tomorrow the CAs start, and I'm way too jaded to care. Unfort, the heart thinks otherwise. It is currently thumping along happily in my thoracic cavity.
12. On a happier note, my happy piece of plastic camera should be hopping by my room to say HI. I shall welcome it with open arms (along with a paperbag skirt), seeing how it is a small piece of happiness in an increasingly dark world. Okay too melodramatic.
13. Rant over. Shall join my brother in his quest to hunt for mice, and a Rhino plush toy. How excite.

Ice-cream soda, cherry on the top please.

Lately the days have blended into nights with a huge overdose of parasites in between.
So that leaves me with finding my own cherry on the top; this editorial above.

More here
Wanted to post it in full, but blogger is not cooperating (much like my brain capacity).

Anyways, the weekend is here. The exams draw near. And all I want to do is watch Ip Man.

I promise this whining of sorts will be out of the (slightly dusty) window in no time when the CAs roll over and play dead.
And revive themselves in the form of the PROS.

Oh goody me.

Strong! Wild! Powerful! Savage! Beast!

Here we come, oh ye exams.

this is something else entirely.

Its cold where I am, and I'm craving for McFlurry and KitKat Chunky.

&& parasites have the worst names ever.

Over and Over, again.

I need to hide within a storm
So have the ending come
And bring the winds that scream
And spill the fog all over town
And hold me in your standstill ground
And I will sink down
And you´ll be washed away
you´ll be washed away

...

best song to study to !

1 more day to a packed weekend, just the way life should be (:

Vogue US February 09 : It's A Madcap World (Steven Meisel)

I took a look at this as I was preparing to shut down the mac & turn in.
Don't they look so peaceful, especially Liya ?

more here

Am particularly frustrated with attempts to watch Grey's online. Can't find a single website, that doesn't require: membership / downloading of software which doesn't work on a mac / some new fangled software that only some people seem to have !

I am lion hear me whine.

Anyway, this song has been Favourite Song of the Week.
God of this City - Chris Tomlin.

Am at saturation point for patho, need to recharge & regroup & restudy.

light up, light up.

i'm so sick of studying pathology && looking at diseased colons.

In between Borrelia and Burgdorfei.

I keep:
1. wishing for 5 Jan to come, so that a) Microb can finally be over, b) we can play for a short while (like 2 days maybe) and c) for CRAB.

2. cursing the answers of the T/F questions when they don't make sense.

3. trawling the WWW for clothes.

4. peering at Christian, who is sleeping now I believe. I fed it 2 flies yesterday, and was pleased at its alertness when it pounced on them immediately. Sadly enough, the same cannot be said for my enthusiasm for bacteria.

5. craving for steamboat & crab & sashimi & bunny's taiwan instant noodles at her house in the forest.

6. thinking right, what's the difference between hard ticks, soft ticks, rat fleas and body lice.

7. playing Pet Society on facebook ! HORRORS IS ME.

On a book rampage

After sunday lunch at Il Piccolo, we trooped to Bedok Community Library; where I swooped on 7 books. 

2 Nora Roberts, 1 Terry Pratchett, 1 Barbara Bradford, 1 Tami Hoag, 2 Michael Cox. 

Congratulations to me, nicely done.

Siqi's Russian Concubine is my the car's boot because she didn't want it to surface at her swimwear party. 

This week's the 2nd week of the December holidays, and with my days filling up fast, it only means 1 thing: time to study!

I will be at got salt? camp tomorrow through saturday. :)

Till we lose control, system overload.

1. gothere.sg is my current favourite website.

2. I cannot find proper drop crotch pants.

3. I think sometimes you don't think about the words that are coming our of your mouth, and how they sound. Or maybe you do think about the words, about what you are saying, but you just don't care. I'm starting to find you more and more repelling. 

4. Fringe shoes came today! 

5. I love his look :)

6. Love Lockdown.

7. It's exactly 1 month to exams. 

8. It's time to start christmas present shopping, except I'm feeling very lazy.

9. I think, wait I know that age is not a good indicator for maturity. 

10. Parents are coming back next week! Means, no more non existent breakfasts, sloppy lunches & fast food dinners. HH.

When I wash the clothes, it rains.

Object of affection (OOA) #1: Fringe sandals.

OOA #2: Big Bowed Blouse

I am trying to squash the urge to spend $70. Hence, the rational thinking incited by Sonia.